(In order to meld the spirit of futile sports predictions with the high stakes world of the who-will-be-cancelled-first fall television season, I’ve set up a very simple system of predictions for how long new shows will last. Each day, I’ll (I’m aware I switched between we and I) lay out a network’s new shows scheduled to debut in the fall (reality shows not included – I’m already going to fail miserably on scripted shows, I don’t need to tackle a whole other animal) with my prediction of which of three categories it will fall into.
These categories are:
1. Renewal – show gets renewed
2. 13+ – the show gets thirteen or more episodes, but not renewed
3. 12- – the show is cancelled before 13)
Time to tackle Fox’s slate of four new fall non-scripted shows (X Factor the big unscripted debut). New Girl starts next week and Terra Nova the week after. The other two start much later, owing to Fox’s yearly late start due to postseason baseball airing all October.
New Girl – 9/20
Fox is trying to add “adorkable” to the lexicon, and as much as I hate forced additions to the lexicon by advertisers (see: my hatred of the old cell phone commercials trying to get your “five” to catch on), I have to admit it’s a pretty good word and as apt for series star Zooey Deschanel as for anyone. Zooey, as Jess, breaks up with her boyfriend at the beginning of the show and moves in with three dudes, who teach her a little bit about life, while she has something to teach her too.
Verdict: Renewal – the show doesn’t sound or look great, but even I have to admit Zooey Deschanel has some undeniable charisma even if I’ve never been infatuated with her
Allen Gregory – 10/30
Fox is the leader in primetime animated series, in their vaunted Sunday block, anchored stalwarts The Simpsons and Family Guy. When I read that Jonah Hill was creating and starring in an animated series on Fox, I was interested. Hill voices the title character, a snooty 7-year old with two gay parents. Unfortunately, I’ve read seriously bad notices about the show being both derivative and more than that straight out bad.
Verdict: 12- Hill’s name should count for something but with the Napoleon Dynamite animated series barking at the door, I’m not sure the series will be given that much room for failure
I Hate My Teenage Daughter – 11/30
Two suburban moms, portrayed by Jamie Pressly and Katie Finnernan, find, to their dismay, that their daughters are becoming the type of kids they hated when they were in high school. The dads, both exes, are incompetent, as the mothers try to do their best to straighten out their daughters.
Verdict: 12- Another of the class of it’s just going to be bad. It’s not that the premise is as forced as How to Be A Gentlemen; a show with this premise could in theory work. Still, it’s not going to; it’s going to be very bad.
Terra Nova – 9/26
Probably the winner of this year’s biggest Lost clone award, Terra Nova is actually somewhat of a Lost meets Land of the Lost, as future people, with the planet in danger (take that climate change skeptics) build a time machine and go back millions upon millions of years to create a human colony in the ancient past. Oh, yeah, and they built their colony in the middle of killer dinosaurs.
Verdict: Renewal – well this is half a cheat, since Fox skipped ordering a pilot and just ordered 13 episodes straight out, a highly unusual step. It’s probably the most expensive new series and it looks it. I don’t know whether it’s going to be interesting, whether the characters will be compelling, and whether the story line will make sense, but it’s going to look fantastic.