Everyone has their own reactions to this Hurric-apocalypse we seem to be facing in the New York City environs, but for my part, I can’t help but think of the “Hurricane Neddy” episode of The Simpsons, in which a hurricane hits Springfield. (there’s plenty of other hurricane TV episodes of different shows as well) The only damage is the Flanders’ house, which is destroyed, and even though the whole town tries to help by rebuilding it, Flanders goes a little bit insane and has to be put in an asylum. It’s an absolutely classic episode, and like all absolute classic Simpsons episodes, it’s incredibly quotable. Thus, these are my top ten quotes from the episode, with a little bit of context (I was going to just list five before, but while thinking about them, I realized that doesn’t even start to be enough – these episodes are so good):
1o. “Now I’m prunetracy” – in a flashback, child Ned says it as he beats up the other kids, taking their identities for himself.
When to use it: To someone who really knows Simpsons well – it’s just an incredibly silly quote and makes absolutely no sense out of context
9. “Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent” – it’s a shame I have to break this scene up into separate quotes, as a couple will probably make the list. Homer, recruited by the doctors to force Flanders out of repression of his mean side, is given a list of quotes to try to antagonize him. This is the second.
When to use it: You don’t really like somebody, and you want to express that, but you want them to kind of think you’re joking
8. “And if you really tick me off, I’m gonna run you down with my car” – Ned, at the end of the episode, going to far to express how much he’s changed and learned now to repress his anger and rage. The quote is greeted by uncomfortable silence.
When to use it: You want to let somebody know that if they tick you off, you’ll run them down with your car, but you want them to kind of think you’re joking
7. “Ah, I wouldn’t take it down if I were you. It’s a load-bearing poster.” – Bart, letting Rod know that he shouldn’t take down the Krusty the Clown poster in the new Flanders home even though Rob doesn’t like Krusty.
When to use it: Anytime someone wants to move something around in the room, ie. Move your papers off a chair, or pull up blinds on a window
6. “Somehow, the animals are always the first to know” – Homer says it, after Santa’s Little Helper is blown away by the hurricane force winds, pointing out that animals are first to notice bad weather coming.
When to use it: Perfect for both any bad weather situation, animal present or not (animal presence is a bonus though)
5. “Not me, friends. He’s talking about himself. But thanks for looking!” – random character, whom we learn is the actual “happiest man in town”, to whom everyone looks when Ned tellsSpringfield, that if anyone needs a favor, they should look to the happiest man in town.
When to use it: In a situation, where everyone present thinks somebody is talking about you, but they’re really not
4.”I mock your value system. You also appear foolish to the eyes of others.” – the first quote of Homer’s attempted antagonizing of Flanders
When to use it: When someone provides an awful opinion or showcases horrible taste
3. “Spin the middle side topwise. Topwise!” – Bart, trying to help the family solve the Rubik’s cube they find in the basement.
When to use it: When everybody in the room is frustarted over a task, like fixing the X-box, or opening a window
2. “I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I…um, what was the third thing you said?” – Moe reacting to Flanders, who, in blind rage has started calling out everyone in his path for how horrible they really are, and calls Moe ugly and hate-filled.
When to use it: When somebody insults you, and you want to make light of it rather than insult them back
1. “Uh, just remember, one of our patients is a cannibal. Try to guess which one! I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”- mental hospital Dr. Foster explaining to the Simpson family when they come to the mental hospital so Homer can attempt to antagonize Ned.
When to use it: In literally any situation. That’s why it’s #1.
Television, the Drug of the Nation 